Why Trista Sutter Suddenly Left Special Forces: What You Didn’t See

Trista Sutter‘s out Special Forces suddenly appeared on television, but it turns out there was a lot going on behind the scenes that viewers didn’t see on Wednesday, January 15’s episode.

“When I came back from the beach on the first day, I was shocked because of the extreme heat. My lips were turning blue in the car when I got back. It was bad. I was very tired,” said Sutter, 53, in an exclusive interview with Us Weekly. “It was really scary.”

Earlier in Wednesday’s episode, the OG Bachelorette told the Special Forces the soldiers wanted to leave. According to Sutter, he realized it was time for him to go after the airtight mirror room.

“I wanted to get to the end. I really do. I wasn’t one to just sign up for a program and get paid on day one, you know what I mean? I wanted to challenge myself as much as possible, and this is one opportunity in my life and the mirror room is a part of it, I wanted to reach that,” he said. Us. “I thought it would be a long way off, but because of what happened to me, they pulled me in and I got to really connect on a human level. Billy [Billingham] again Q [Jovon Quarles].”

Sutter also recalled contact with soldier Rudy Reyes.

“When I was on the beach, Rudy stopped and said, ‘I think I’m going to pass out.’ And he’s like, ‘Well, what do you want to do?’ I said, ‘I’d like to see a doctor.’ And you’re like, ‘Well, you can’t, if you see the drug and voluntarily withdraw.’ … And he’s like, ‘I’m sorry, you have to do VW or move on.’ And I said, ‘Okay, I’m not ready to go home,'” he explained Us. “So I just kept going and he said, behind the mirror room, ‘I’m proud of you. I thought you were going to give up on the beach and you didn’t and you kept going and that’s very important and I’m proud of you.’”

Sutter called the confirmation he received from DS a leak — and a sign that he may have accomplished what he set out to do on the show, despite his quick exit.

“They see that I give 100 percent – although my 100 percent was not as good as professional athletes. Carey HartI was trying my best,” he continued. “Just knowing that they saw that I was giving 100 percent meant a lot to me. I have so much respect for them and what they have given to our country [and] their countries. Connecting with them was really important to me.”

The reality TV host elaborated on her decision to leave the show, explaining that she took a long shower to warm up after returning from the beach.

“Before we started recording [again] I saw the number 444 and I believe in the numbers of angels and guardian angels and God and I have a lot of faith and all that,” he said. “I entered it knowing or believing that the angels watching over me were watching over me and I slept. I woke up with a bang – we all did – and immediately a calm came over me thinking, ‘He’s fine. You got a lot in these two days.’ Even if it’s just two days. It was like a lifetime.”

Sutter added that the staff warned him that things would be difficult if he stayed and progressed on the show.

“And it was really hard!” he continued. “The in-betweens – running with the pack, which is a third of my body weight – was really hard. I’ve never been a runner and those were the hard parts, tasks I enjoyed and I think I did very well in them even though I didn’t succeed technically.”

In the process, Sutter said he doesn’t want to be a “burden” to any of his customers.

“I wanted to challenge myself though [not] they burdened other people to help me,” he said Us of speech. “They didn’t have to help me. Gold [Tate] he had my pocket – you saw it one of the times near the bridge – he had two pockets, one of which was mine. And I remember saying to him, ‘I think I’m going to go.’ He’s like, ‘Are you sure?’ And remember, that’s where we’re running around trying to get ready, like, go, go.”

Sutter emphasized that even though he was only on the show for a short time, it was very satisfying. He noted that fellow contestant Denise Richards (who was the second recruit to leave) probably felt the same way.

“I have a lot of respect for what Denise has been able to accomplish and being the second to go,” said Sutter. “Everyone has a different purpose for being there. Everyone has their reasons for leaving and that doesn’t take anything away from who they are and what they are trying to achieve.”

Sutter concluded that he gained his “confidence” – as an individual and as an athlete – from appearing on the series.

“I learned that I can do difficult things if I put my mind to it. Another thing I regret about my leaving is that I have seen everything they have been through,” she said. “But I keep trying to remind myself of how I felt at that time and the peace that came over me, [how I did] I challenged myself with the experience and all the people I met, friendship. I’m trying to be grateful for all of that, but it’s hard. I’d like to wake up and say, ‘Yeah, whatever. Remove that clip. Go ahead!'”

Special Forces airs on Fox Wednesdays at 8 pm ET.