Neon Maniacs’ Weird Mistakes Make Old Religion So Much Better

In a secret place under the Golden Gate Bridge lurks a group of humanoids—territorial mutants that are not quite the same. Hills With Eyeseach with a different “look” isn’t it like Villagers, and maybe even robots? They came up with one goal: to terrorize the youth of San Francisco. Title stars of The Neon Maniacs have many powers, which unfortunately remain unexplored. But the cult film, released in 1986, still manages to entertain.

Despite the emergence of several images of the famous bridge, complete with fog horn sound effects, The Neon Maniacs it appears to have been shot almost entirely in Los Angeles—forgivable, considering that most of the film’s budget went to its special effects. Directed by Joseph Mangine and written by Mark Patrick Carducci, The Neon Maniacs it has one notable actress: Leilani Sarelle, who a few years later played Sharon Stone’s jealous girlfriend The Innate Mind. Here, Natalie, is the only survivor after her friends decide to throw her a party in a park near the Neon Maniacs turf. Worst birthday ever! After that the Maniacs started stalking him, intending to finish their unfinished business.

Immediately entering the drama are Steven (Alan Hayes), who has been crushing on Natalie from afar and finally makes a move when all her other friends are dead, and Paula (Donna Locke), a teenager obsessed with monster movies (tomboy), wears a Alien baseball cap throughout the film), who draws the ire of the Maniacs when he tries to catch them on videotape outside their hideout.

Like many horror movies of this era, the parents are all checked out (Natalie’s people are on a European vacation), and the police don’t take seriously the heard stories of children who are admittedly uncontrollable, despite a lot of evidence to suggest it. something it’s wrong. For example, many missing teenagers, and a crime scene that is completely clean except for scattered pools of invisible slime.

Things come to a head in a high school fight—one is a Steven-fronted group that sounds like a tribute to Rick Springfield; the other looks like a Motley Crue video come to life—when the Neon Maniacs crash, which easily fits because “Freak Frolic Night” and everyone you’re dressed like crazy. Fortunately, the Neon Maniacs melt when they come into contact with water, and Paula manages to find the pipe in time.

It’s a silly plot that doesn’t hit too many curveballs, but has a very distinct sense of it The Neon Maniacs it had ambitions to be an elaborate and popular film. It opens with a very solemn tone—“When the world is ruled by violence and the soul of humanity fades, the children’s path will be darkened by the shadows of Neon Maniacs”—that teases a larger myth to come. Then, in the opening scene, a young man trying to fish for luck near the Golden Gate Bridge stumbles upon what appear to be trading cards depicting the Neon Maniacs in dangerous poses, wearing their signature clothing: Samurai! Sad doctor! Ax guy! Another guy with a rope! Part man/monkey! Crocodile-skinned cyclops!

Who took these pictures, and why these trading cards might die, is never explained, but that’s a small matter compared to the fact that we don’t learn. anything else about Neon Maniacs. For example, where do they come from? Were they created by some invisible mad scientist? Why do they live in a secret place under the bridge? Why are they so mad? Why, when one of them loses an arm, does it seem like a robot arm? What sludgy slime did they leave behind? Why do they all go Wicked Witch of the West when they are wet?

These are questions only asked by the late screenwriter Carducci—who went on to co-script and receive joint story credit for Stan Winston’s 1988 feature. The head of the pumpkin; he also wrote a 1987 episode Tales from the Dark—you probably know the answers to them. There is no doubt that the original intentions of The Neon Maniacs involving a lot of depth and monsters, but you can feel that this was not a smooth production. One big sign: when you watch the credits, you’ll see almost every Maniacs show in multiplayer, which suggests a stop-and-go shooting routine.

However, if you don’t mind not knowing exactly what the Neon Maniacs are like—or suffering from Steven’s awesome taste in rock n’ roll (we never find out who wins the Battle of the Bands, come to think of it!)—The Neon Maniacs it’s a surprisingly harmonious oddity that befits its cult status. The character of Paula elevates it to that meta category of “monster movies with characters who like monster movies,” and there’s a certain beauty that comes with scary creatures that can’t stand water being chased by a bunch of teenagers with squirt guns.

The Neon Maniacs arrives on Shudder December 9.

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