Written by Robert Scucci | Updated
What do you get when you combine the beauty and elegance of gymnastics with the discipline and precision of karate? There is only one correct answer to this question, and that is 1985 Gymkata – one of the funniest martial arts movies you’ll ever see. I know it may sound like I’m exaggerating, but I’ve seen every late Steven Seagal movie offered in the Walmart bin, so I consider myself an expert on unintentional comedy; it’s a topic that has ruined my life because I’ve watched so many ridiculous movies that I don’t even know what I really like anymore.
Gymkata may not be available through any streaming subscription service, but is available through on-demand purchase. That’s right, for the price of a Happy Meal you can watch this train wreck of storytelling, fighting, romance, and exercise machines perfectly placed in the darkness of your living room if you’re willing to lose a few IQ points.
Bad Game
Based on the novel by Dan Tyler Moore Jr. written in 1957, Bad Game, Gymkata it is a riot of a film that is impossible not to watch. Featuring the tactics of Olympic gymnast Kurt Thomas leading the way as Special Intelligence Agency (SIA) contractor Jonathan Cabot, I must admit that the battle sequences are well-planned and will hold your attention. But like most action movies that star one athlete first and an actor second, the storytelling is split in favor of stunts and beatdowns while most of your dialogue and exposition seem like afterthoughts.
Focusing on an unforgiving athletic competition known as “The Game,” Gymkata attempts to combine a story about international relations with the fictional land of Parmistan. Jonathan is asked by SIA to participate in the Game, a 900-year-old tradition that has never had a winner. Those who win the Game are not only allowed to live, but they are also given one wish when they finish the competition, which is a kind of random race with no clear rules that I can say.
Desire
Like many action movies set in the ’80s, the threat of nuclear war is what drives Jonathan to participate in the game. Acting under the instructions of the SIA, Jonathan is tasked with defeating the very game that took his father’s life to demand that the US install a satellite surveillance system in Parmistan that serves as an early warning system for any possible future nuclear attack.
Training under the tutelage of an Eastern trainer (Tadashi Yamashita) and a Parmistan princess named Princess Rubali (Tetchie Abayani), Jonathan develops Gymkata, an unusual fighting method that combines gymnastics and karate so that he can have a competitive edge during the upcoming Games.
If you thought there would be punching bags and long jumps involved during training, you’re seriously mistaken. Much of Jonathan’s training involved being told to listen to the wind while being forced to climb stairs with his hands for some reason. While I wouldn’t say that this is the normal way to prepare for a life-or-death competition, I can’t argue with the results after watching. Gymkata.
How Simple!
I can come in Gymkata’s a chaotic plot about a coup organized by the King of Parmistan’s right-hand man, Commander Zamir (Richard Norton), to overthrow the government by changing the rules of the Game to ensure that no one wins, but what you really need to know is that the rules are being broken, and it’s up to Jonathan to survive and win to get his wish build one for the sake of national security.
And how does Jonathan fight the various heroes and warriors of Parmistan, you ask?
Luckily for Jonathan, when he’s being chased into a dark place that leads to what one would think is certain death, there’s a high bar for him to investigate, investigate, and kick his way out of trouble. I was initially worried about Jonathan’s safety when he found himself surrounded by a mob of terrorists and warriors in the town square, but those worries were quickly erased from my nervous brain when a perfectly placed pommel horse was found that Jonathan could swing. , investigate, get out of trouble.
It serves primarily as a way to showcase Kurt Thomas’ gym and karate skills, all trap or hide and seek. Gymkata it has great choreography, but it’s placed throughout the film in a very silly way while still being a lot of fun to watch.
Viewing Gymkata
Gymkata it has certainly earned its keep as a cult classic, and is a film worth seeking out for its inherent entertainment value. The story arc (or lack thereof) may leave a lot to be desired, but between The Game’s opponents being thrown violently off cliffs and splashed up onto the rocks below, Jonathan’s unique and confusing mixed martial arts approach, and his own fighting techniques. flirting with Miss Rubali by doing various flips and gyrations, you will be left stunned and confused next time you need to shut your mind and just let Gymkata happened to you.
If you want to see Gymkata yourself, available on-demand through Google Play Movies, Apple TV+, Fandango at Home, and Amazon Prime Video. And if you want to add to your viewing experience, you can also check out the RiffTrax version if you want to gut out the analysis.
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